This phase is phamiliar.

School is pwning my life. The past couple weeks, I haven't left work until atleast 7PM. I'm adjusting to a new grading policy, and I'm already behind on interventions and such. I'm not saying I hate it, I'm just saying I need more time. Time has always been my achilles. I'm out of sync with my world, the people in my world, and myself.
Last class, I posted this Stephen Crane poem on the board and told the students to write down a reflection:
A man said to the universe:
"Sir I exist!"
"However," replied the universe,
"The fact has not created in me
A sense of obligation."
My point was to get them to acknowledge the overwhelming generation me attitude in the high school world. Everybody is performing, and no one is listening.
Even at my age, I still feel like I'm performing, like the world is my stage, and I'm the protagonist. I imagine I will eventually save the day. I imagine the players in my story will provide me the challenges and support for my role to grow. My major character flaw is placing too much expectation on my players. That sounds lame. It's kind of like saying your greatest weakness is working too hard. No, my major character flaw is hubris. My arrogance is a defense mechanism for when I feel insecure, which is a lot of the time. I'm out of sync. I'm waiting for everyone else to grow up, while they are waiting for me to do the same. I'm so afraid of being an extra in someone else's story. I don't want to be a lesson learned. I don't want to be a minor set back or the moral of the story. I don't want to be a forgotten phase in a sea of faces.
"This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper."