Filler Episode Post

Words or sayings that have always rubbed me the wrong way:

1. Nest Egg - This was not introduced to me until college...at which point, I was UPset.
2. Touch base - No, I won't be doing that, and also, if you say synergy one more fucking time...
3. Irregardless - Nooooooooooooooooooooo, you have a master's degree in education. STAHPPPPP!

I'm currently on my 3rd season of Friday Night Lights, and I have come to the conclusion that...
I can do all things through Coach Taylor.
I'm Tim Riggins in that I am always trying to do the right thing, but I end up fucking it up.
I'm like Landry in that I don't think YOU realize you deserve to be with someone who treats you better than Tim Riggins treats you.
Finally, I'm like Matthew Saracen in I that I have abandonment issues...but unlike Matthew Saracen, for no reason at all.

I have a lot. I have so much. And I feel guilty when I feel like I don't. What is true and what is felt can be very different things. When I teach circular motion, I have to introduce a very philosophical concept. You see, when a mass revolves around an axis at a constant speed, there is a constant force directed toward the center of the circle that causes the mass to change direction at every single point instead of continuing in a straight path as it is want to do. This is known as a centripetal or "center-seeking" force. Contrary to this, there is an "outward-seeking" force, albeit a a virtual one, known as a centrifugal force. A centrifugal force is not a real force but a feeling of a force caused by situations described in the First and Third Laws of Motion. First, an object in motion will remain in motion unless acted upon by an external force. Then, every force has an equal and opposite reaction force. Imagine being in a car during a very sharp turn. You feel as if you are being pushed outside of the curve, when in reality, your seat belt is pushing you inward or centripetally. No object or field is physically pushing you out. What you know to be true and what you feel can be two very different things. I know I have so much. I know I have developed with every opportunity available to me. I know I have been mentored by the greatest minds on earth. I know I grew up in a neighborhood that allowed me to progress beyond its boundaries. I know I exist in a place that affords me the privilege of expressing my thoughts. But what I feel...what I feel can be very different from the truth.

I had a very wicked thought today. I don't want to be happy and successful in order to be happy and successful. I want to be happy and successful in order to prove wrong all those people who ever told me I wasn't good enough or who didn't believe in me. I want to be happy and successful in order to say I told you so to all those who have betrayed me. Parts of me run on spite, parts of me run on goodness. At times, I feel I am arrogant beyond repair, and then I can bring myself so very low and mock everything I wish to represent. It's all very complicated and problematic. My condolences to all the therapists out there.

I had intended to do a series of Ugly Cry Cinema reviews in which I reviewed a bunch of clips from radio/television/film/videogames that made me ugly cry, but I kind of never got around to it so...sorry. I'll try my best to get that in as soon as possible.

Texas Forever